How to Create a Healthy Habit

Over the past year I have spent a lot of time talking to my yoga students and massage patients about their lives, and about how they are feeling these days, both physically and mentally. 

2020 was hard for all of us (to varying degrees), and it has definitely taken a toll on our bodies and mental health as this Atlantic article so eloquently illustrates.

But when I talked to my students, they knew exactly what they needed to do to take care of themselves, they just weren’t doing it. 

Over and over I heard: “I can’t seem to force myself to work out.” Or “I know I would feel so much better if I just stretched everyday, but I have no motivation.” Or “I know that my headaches, low back pain, fill-in-the-blank would get better if I could just find the energy to use the massage balls, but I haven’t done it yet.”

Finding the motivation to do self-care is surprisingly hard, and the pandemic definitely hasn’t helped in that regard; check out this salient article on languishing. 

So I thought I would share the 3 steps I have taken to create healthier habits for myself over the years. I am not a psychologist or sociologist or doctor, and there are many amazing tips, tricks, and articles out there written by more lettered folk than I on this matter, but this is the system that has worked for me:

3 Steps to Creating a Healthy Habit that Lasts

1. Find Your “Why.” 

This is a popular saying in the entrepreneurial world. Basically, it means discovering the reason why you are doing something. And the reason needs to be deep, it needs to feel almost primal to you. Deeper than “I want to lose weight” or “I know it’s good for me.” 

To use myself as an example, I try to be as active as I can because I want to live a long, healthy life. This is a deep concern for me, because I have watched my grandmother, and now my dear father, slowly disintegrate from the brutal effects of Parkinson’s disease starting in middle age.

Even though there is no research proving that doing yoga every day will prevent me from getting this horrible disease (or a different one), there is enough evidence that regular movement helps prevent and manage hundreds of conditions that I am willing to do it. Basically, fear of a long, slow, painful death keeps me going. A little morbid? Yes, but it is quite motivating!

If you can’t discover a “why” for yourself, think of someone else in your life who you love. Maybe you want to be an active part of your grandchild’s life, and that motivates you to get up and down off your mat each week. Perhaps you want to stay strong and healthy for a partner or child who depends on you. Perhaps you need to be able to carry your aging cat up the stairs at night without hurting your shoulders and back. It doesn’t matter what the reason is, as long as it feels deeply important to you.

2. Pick One Thing to Start (AKA Start Small). 

There are A LOT of things we “should” be doing to maintain optimal health. I always joke with my students that if we did all the things we are supposed to do each day for self-care from dental hygiene to meditation to cardio to cooking healthy meals, that self-care would be our full time job and there would be no time to work, care for friends and family, or be a productive member of society.

So start with just one thing. Pick one thing you know will help you the most. If heart health is a big concern for you, work on building your cardio routine. If strength training will help rehab your knee so you can hike easily again, prioritize that. If you know that massaging your neck with a ball helps keep headaches at bay, then put it on your calendar to do it every day at a specific time. Which brings me to my last point:

3. Be Flexibly Inflexible. 

Once you have found your why and figured out what self-care thing you need to do the most, then schedule it, and hold yourself accountable. Put it on your calendar or to do list every day and mark it off once you do it. Be consistent until it becomes second nature. You have probably heard the adage that it takes 21 days to make a habit. In reality I think it takes longer than that. But if you commit and are inflexible in your routine for several weeks, it will become something you don’t want to skip; it will have become a habit.

Now, what if you feel sick one day? Or you are traveling? Or your work schedule is inconsistent? What if you have a chronic illness or injury that flares up from time to time? This is where the flexibility of being flexibly inflexible comes in. To use myself as an example again: my goal is to move my body every day, no matter what. So some days that means a 30-minute walk. Some days that means 60 minutes of yoga. Some days that means strength training. And some days, when I have been sick or extremely tired, that means just lying on the floor and rolling around for 15 minutes. Life happens, and our bodies break down in different places at different times, so care for yourself when that happens; try not to put any guilt or shame on yourself or your body. 

Meditation is the process of constantly noticing the mind wandering and bringing it back to focus on your breath or the present moment. Building a habit that you know will benefit your life is a process of constantly bringing ourselves back to that habit once we have strayed away from it. 

Let me know if these steps help you set up your own healthy habits and routines.

Namaste,

Mary Wahlman-Krogh, RYT, LMT

Owner of Mindful Movement with Mary